Been abt 2 wks since i last blogged. had the tot of blogging but was lazy.
Was assured by grace that i look really sian, tired, aimless, anw looks living dead.
Dunno y i've been feeling down. i dread gg to sch now. everything jus seems useless. (Dont c a pt to doing them.)

Grace is right, SLEEPING is the best way to forget , to bring urself out of dis cruel, monotonous, meritocracy-based country/education. Sleep is in fact a form of escapism. To stop urself from having weird/ impossible thoughts, to stop letting ur imagination run wild, to stop urself from holding on tightly to the past (whether they are good or bad memories). Is this y i'm been feeling so slpy since the 1st day of term 2??

Got back my CTs. Was happy that i finally got an A for chem. Despite the maths society t'cher saying that having pass maths is oreadi considered good, i was still feeling upset over the result. A C grade is far from the expectation i have of myself. Overall, i did v badly for CTs, with 2 U grade which are the 2 H1 sub. A 2 marks improvement in chem and >/= 1 grade of deprovement for the remaining 4 subs. However, i tink im no longer the Vivian who will be greatly affected by bad grades. This time round, i didnt shed a single tear, worse, im not even motivated to work harder. Wad has happened?? I have no other commitment other than studies and i cant even handle it well, so is this wad ppl always referred to as "FAILURE"??
But mum is right, I would rather want a nice A lvl cert than sch-based certs.

Dad is away so i have to travel to sch myself in the early dawn. haiz... It's really a blessing that i have a dad that send me to sch every morning and i shld seriously cherish it. It is so true that ppl only appreciate their family members once they are not around. We often take them for granted. Maybe because they are our closest kins n we are sure that no matter wad trouble we get into/ lousy attitudes that we showed upon them, they would bear/forgive us. Fortunately, dad will be back tml. YAY!! no more early mrt/bus ride!!

Vivian imagined this on 18:11